(Pretend this is being read by a ten year-old)

So what'd you get for Christmas? Uh huh. That's great. I got the Up movies from Ali. So cool. And the Alfred Hitchcock Presents box from my mom. And a black Sidney Crosby jersey from my dad. It's awesome! And some clothes. Oh, and a CD and some shoes. And an Atari game from my mother-in-law. And Star Wars 3. Oh, yeah, and a tie and some socks.

temp template

I don't really like this harbor-themed template, but I really don't like the amount of wasted space on the other one. I'm playing around with that other template in an effort to customize it and expand the text surface, but until I figure it out, I'll use this one.

This is all the Transformers movie I'll ever need

*from the cheston/pbf archive* (click to enlarge)

I just read this over and over.

I'm not kidding. This is the nicest thing I've read in who knows how long. I read it over and over again and enjoy it more each time. I'll forego the standard sentimental and retrospective platitudes and simply say that reading this makes me lightly euphoric.

Courtesy of the online Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

State's oldest resident dies at 113
Friday, December 16, 2005

AP

COUDERSPORT, Pa. -- M. Gladys Swetland, believed to be the oldest resident of Pennsylvania, died Wednesday at Charles Cole Memorial Hospital. She was 113.

Miss Swetland was born in Mills, Potter County, on April 18, 1892, when Benjamin Harrison was president and Ellis Island began accepting immigrants, according to Caywood's Funeral Home in Elmira, N.Y., which is handling the funeral arrangements.

She started teaching at the Harrison Valley School in 1910. She saved money to attend Eastern Michigan Teachers College, where she earned a teaching degree, and later taught fifth and sixth grades in Detroit for 16 years.

Returning to Potter County to care for her mother, Miss Swetland taught third grade at the Harrison Valley School for 40 years. She retired at 70 but continued to substitute for almost 10 more years.

She never married but was engaged to a soldier who died in World War I.

She drove her automobile until well past her 100th birthday and lived in the Mills home where she was born until she was 110. During the last years of her life, she lived in the long-term care unit of Charles Cole Memorial Hospital in Coudersport.

It was there, on her 112th birthday, that she played piano for Gov. Ed Rendell.

She again played for relatives and other visitors, including state Sen. Joe Scarnati, R-Jefferson County, on her 113th birthday. Miss Swetland appeared on the "Today" show three days later.

In addition to the piano, she used to play the organ at Mills Union Church, where funeral services are slated to be held tomorrow.

Not Overhyped

A few minutes ago I walked in the door from the Penguins v. Avalanche game, and I'm overjoyed to be able to report firsthand that Sidney Crosby is every bit as good as I hoped he'd be. It won't show up on the scoresheet necessarily, where he got only a single assist in the 4-3 win, but he's as impressive as an eighteen year-old could be.

While he didn't get the points tonight, Crosby's got the same unmistakable points potential that only the great ones have. Even when it doesn't end up in the net from his stick or someone else's, you can just see how his mind is working out ways to create scoring chances. Blind passes and abrupt shots that are always on-target. The refusal to give up on a play. Like Mario, his linemates know they've always got to keep their sticks on the ice. I can't imagine there are five better passers in the league than him right now, and he's only going to get better. He doesn't have Lemieux's size or wingspan, though, or the accompanying ability to conserve movement. Crosby's more of a whirling dervish, though constantly under control, and he puts that high energy to good use-- he made a couple of nice defensive plays tonight, including one great puck-stripping while short-handed. With Mario out of the lineup (and Palffy, and LeClair), Crosby seemed to take ownership for the team's effort tonight, and the team got solid play from all four lines tonight.

Fittingly, Wayne Gretzky was in the building tonight to scout for Team Canada. I can't imagine he'd leave 87 off the Olympic squad.

She turned two three months ago.

My telephone rings. Ali is on the other end, and she greets me by beginning to talk.

"Did Virginia watch King Kong with you and Ruby last weekend?

I involuntarily freeze. What I am imagining is that Ginger has subjected one of her sisters or a family pet to the Tyranosaur treatment (i.e., ripping its jaws apart) or the giant snake treatment (i.e., whipping it violently onto the floor).

After a moment: "Uh, why?"

Ali proceeds to tell me that she was reading the morning paper and Virginia came up to her and saw a print ad for Peter Jackson's remake on the page. She pointed and said, "That's King Kong. He's mean. He gets that lady. He turns nice at the end. He dies." ***




*** translated from kidtalk. Actual phonetic: "Dat's Ding Dong. Ee's mean. Ee dets dat wady. Ee tuns night a'de en. Ee die." Yes, I cringed while typing it.

Gervais Podcasts

Clicking on this link beginning Monday the 5th will lead to the first of a series of podcasts from Ricky Gervais, co-creator of The Office, BBC version. If that show wasn't impressive enough-- and I'm still convinced of its greatness, having revisited large portions of it recently-- I admire the approach Gervais has taken since he became an overnight success. Smallish, personal projects. No obvious paychecks for paychecks' sake (the American version of the show really is pretty good, even if constrained by limits that the BBC original didn't have).

This should be good.

documents

I post the following not just because it's cute, but because this is one way I can be sure it won't be lost, as google takes steps daily to become the Collective Permanent Intelligence of the Future. Just a few weeks ago, right after Halloween, I came across a fantastic piece of paper in which Ruby had dictated to Leah her plans for Halloween costumes covering next year, when she's seven, up through until she turns eighteen. I meant to keep the paper somewhere safe, but it promptly got lost and now I can remember only that she planned to be a witch in 2006 and that I'll need to remind her that she's going as the Creature from the Black Lagoon in 2017.

To avoid a repeat, I preserve the following here. A school paper on which Leah wrote what she wished for when the Thanksgiving wishbone was figuratively snapped:

"I thought about all the pets that were in Katrena. I wished that they all could find homes. Maybe I could even take care of some of them. I would wish that vets would come find them. They would have to stay at the hospital pretty long but maybe they would survive. Leah"

Favorites of 2005 with one month to go

Updated to today.

1. SARABAND (A)
2. THE WORLD (A)
3. L'ENFANT (A)
4. ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW (A)
5. HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE (A-)
6. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE (A-)
7. GEORGE A. ROMERO'S LAND OF THE DEAD (A-)
8. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE (B+)
9. WAR OF THE WORLDS (B+)
10. THE RISING: THE BALLAD OF MANGEL PANDEY (B+)