First: In 2007 I vow to do everything within my power to eradicate (or, at the very least, mercilessly ridicule) one of the two stupidest rhetorical devices in common use by nonfiction writers.* Recent examples read in just the past few days are this article from the Post-Gazette's sports page and also in this article Bill Gates wrote for Scientific American about robots. The device is nearly always found in the opening paragraph of the piece and is easily spotted. The writer will describe a thing or condition in somewhat vague detail, but without actually naming it. Then, after painting this inexact portrait, the writer pulls the rug out. It turns out that instead of broadly describing the thing we were all thinking, the writer was actually describing something else obviously similar to it! Ho HO! You mean to say you weren't describing the Steelers, but rather the Bengals? I surely never would have suspected there were such similarities between 8-8 football teams. Can this be? You're not actually just talking about the present state of robot technology, but reiterating the recent history of personal computer technology? That's clever!
I'm inclined to label this rhetorical time-wasting a Plainly-Obvious Switcheroo, but that's due in part to the acronym it yields. I'm open to suggestions as to what it is called. I'll be spending some part of 2007 linking to and mocking the worst uses of this device.
* In case you were wondering (you weren't), the other stupidest rhetorical device in common use is the "lead off with an unattributed quote that seems to be describing a present-day state and then grandly reveal that the quote was said at a time and place commonly thought to be idyllic and free from the menace described in the quote" manuever.
Second: Because this worked to perfection last year, I reiterate it here in modified form: I vow to watch the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup in 2007. Whether the team then promptly relocates to Kansas City is another matter.
Third: I vow to wait until at least January 19, 2007 before getting a haircut.
Fourth: I vow to have my 1040 completed and filed on or before February 20, 2007.
Fifth: I vow to housetrain the one on the left.
What a great photo. Your daughter is lovely, and the puppy is irresistable.
ReplyDeleteNice post, too. And now I must make a mental note not to ever write anything using either of those rhetorical devices.
Thanks, Diane!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't give a second thought to my rhetorical posturing. My own writing contains enough tics and bald spots to render my jeremiad totally pot-kettle.
Oh, not at all, Russ!
ReplyDeleteDoes fido have a name yet?
I totally agree with you about pretentious rhetoric, Russ.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not just saying that because one of my favorit films from last year was that one with funny looking guy with the Eastern European accent wondering around various icons of American culture and slyly commenting on the underlying psychology of America that is so familiar to us it sometimes takes an outsider to see...
The Pervert's Guide to Cinema.
*golf clap*
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Ken.
Leah chose "Rocky," Diane, and we couldn't think of any particular reason to veto it.
"Golf clap"?
ReplyDeleteThat hardly seems like the merciless ridicule promised me in your post.
Well, it was intended as a compliment.
ReplyDeleteDuring church this morning I was wondering whether this post is condemning parables, in a manner of speaking. That's not really the way I intended to go.