Miscellany/ Bad Stand-Up

* In local news, a man was fined $300 for holding himself out as Steelers quarterbacks Ben Roethlisberger and Brian St. Pierre to unsuspecting and media-illiterate single women. Upon leaving the courtroom, Tommy Maddox approached the man and offered to pay him $300 if he'd pretend to be him for a while.

* I hope that if the World Series goes back to new Comiskey, the customary camera cutaway to celebs in attendance will fall on this guy. (insert obligatory "Ligue of his own" ref)

* I watched most of last night's Falcons-Jets game. I'm actually not able to believe how glaringly bad the Jets' clock/game management is, despite their hiring the clockwatcher who stands next to Herm. Near the end of the first half, with the opportunity to do something to make the second half more than just a formality, Vinny throws a ball to Chrebet which he traps but which is ruled a catch. Rather than run up and run a play or spike the ball to prevent replay review, the Jets call time and practically compel the play to be reviewed (and overturned). They improbably get the ball back before the half ends, but then another blundered miscommunication about where they are on the clock and the field results in them just letting time run out while the offense is lined up at midfield. No long field goal setup or attempt. No Hail Mary.

Seriously, if I was playing the Jets, I'd hire Flavor Flav to walk up and down my team's sideline, and every time Herm looked over our way, I'd have Flavor point to that big clock around his neck. You'd be deep in his head.

And maybe I just haven't watched enough Falcons games, but is Michael Vick even in the Top Ten quarterbacks in the league?

* Non-sports: I'm glad to have the DVD of George A. Romero's Land of the Dead now, but after seeing the weekend box office come out like this...

1 N Doom Uni. $15,488,870 - 3,044 - $5,088 $15,488,870 $60 1
2 N Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story DW $9,178,233 - 2,007 +1,012 $4,573 $9,178,233 $32 1
3 2 Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit DW $8,584,304 -25.5% 3,472 -184 $2,472 $43,918,009 - 3
4 1 The Fog SonR $6,665,475 -43.3% 2,972 - $2,242 $20,913,919 $18 2
5 N North Country WB $6,422,455 - 2,555 - $2,513 $6,422,455 $35 1
6 3 Elizabethtown Par. $5,621,009 -47.1% 2,517 - $2,233 $18,848,975 $45 2
7 4 Flightplan BV $4,724,629 -27.2% 2,513 -598 $1,880 $77,294,514 - 5
8 5 In Her Shoes Fox $3,885,189 -36.4% 2,237 -603 $1,736 $26,179,382 - 3
9 8 A History of Violence NL $2,699,962 -25.0% 1,308 -40 $2,064 $26,300,395 $32 5
10 6 Two for the Money Uni. $2,421,835 -48.3% 1,693 -704 $1,430 $20,706,660 $35 3

...I agree with my friend Paul that the film should have been released this month instead of in June. In fact, it should have been released this past weekend. That would have given The Fog one weekend to attract indiscriminate teenagers, then left the rest of October for Romero's film. They might have moved Doom to get away from it. It would have been the first time in a while that a horror movie with some cred had Halloween to itself. Saw 2? Come on.