Well done, Chuck Klosterman

I had some spare moments ¹ at the library recently and paged through a recent issue of Esquire. Chuck Klosterman has a nice piece about Andrew Bujalski's films² and the cinema of doing nothing, and his further viewing recommendations are pretty funny:

There's a long tradition of movies in which nothing happens, particularly in Russia; some would argue that director Andrei Tarkovsky (1932-1986) made the greatest, slowest films in cinematic history. However, American filmmakers can be just as compelling in ways that are almost as boring. Here are some classic Movies for Guys Who Like Movies That Will Never Appear on TBS.

Sleep (1963)
Nothing happens to an unconscious man Andy Warhol films for five hours and twenty-one minutes. For some reason, I would like to watch this movie with Thom Yorke.

My Dinner With Andre (1981)
Nothing happens to two men at a restaurant.

Metropolitan (1990)
Nothing happens to people who read The New Yorker.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Nothing happens to desperate misanthropes who attempt to sell real estate in a profane, merciless world. Disclaimer: Does include yelling and rainfall.

What Happened Was... (1994)
Nothing happens to two coworkers on an intimate first date (unless you count coming to the realization that they hate being alive as "something").

Flirt (1995)
Nothing happens three times.

Kicking & Screaming (1995)
Nothing happens to a bunch of postgraduate goofballs who enjoy literature and booze. Quite possibly the greatest artistic achievement of the twentieth century. Also of interest: Highball, an improvisational companion movie Noah Baumbach made (using much of the same cast) at roughly the same time. Nothing happens in Highball, either, despite the fact that two characters dress like Godzilla.

Gummo (1997)
Nothing happens to the fictionalized, freakish rednecks who inhabit the real-life community of Xenia, Ohio, a town profoundly devastated by a 1974 tornado. Wildly unpopular among members of the Xenia Board of Tourism.

Security, Colorado (2001)
Nothing happens to an underemployed woman with a sketchy boyfriend. Includes footage of the protagonist updating her résumé.

Gerry (2002)
Nothing happens to two hikers who get lost in a desert, one of whom is Matt Damon.

The Brown Bunny (2003)
Nothing happens to an asshole with a semidecent van and a huge cock. Better than advertised.

Primer (2004)
Nothing happens to two engineers, although they do wear ties, watch the NCAA tournament, and travel through time.

Old Joy (2006)
Nothing happens to Will Oldham.

1By "spare moments," I mean that I had a couple of hours at the library where I had intended to do some work. STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP wasn't very good television, but the show's signature image-- Matthew Perry's character sitting in front of a blank laptop screen with that damned omnipresent countdown clock hanging in his peripheral vision-- is a compelling one regardless of whether your writing experience is limited to procrastinated term papers in college or whether it extends beyond, into vocation and leisure.³ So there I was, within the controlled solitude of the library. Materials set before me with maximum organizational efficiency. Pen taken in hand and-- hey?-- What's that glint? Is that a new issue of Cycle World? It's been four years since my subscription ran out. Huh, I wonder what the new Ducatis look like. On my way over to the motorcycle magazine I see the Esquire and instinctively pick it up. And then I pick up two other magazines on the way back. You can guess from there how much I got done.


2 I don't read enough issues of Esquire to know if the Bujalski piece is typical of the focus of their featured film writing, but I was pretty jazzed about seeing it.

3 Ha ha. "Leisure writing."